Monday, November 26, 2012

It's been quite some time since my last post.  I'll start with my 36 week picture update:
 Gavin took these pictures Tuesday morning just like we always did on even weeks.  I had been to my regular OB appointment the day before....I was dilated to a 1 and maybe 75% effaced.  Dr. Grafa said to go home and take it easy because he had to go to a meeting in Houston and would be gone for only 24 hours.  No problem...things have gone so smoothly and I was dilated to a 2 or 3 for weeks with Gavin.  I was 36 weeks exactly.  I went home to do nothing as instructed.  That night, the contractions began...nothing new...I have had contractions with this pregnancy since very early on.  However, they seemed to be close...I began timing them and they were every 2 to 6 minutes apart from 1:30 am until Taylor and Gavin got up at 6am.  I told Taylor I needed to call the doctor's office when they open and I just wanted the nurse to check and make sure I'm not dilating more since Grafa was out of town.  We dropped Gavin at school and went to Sams for a couple of things to wait until the office opened.  While at sams, the highway patrol officer called to check the car seats for us.  This officer is the ONLY person I could find within 60 miles to check the car seats without charging us.  He was so helpful...he came to sams parking lot and not only checked the seats, he taught us how to make sure everything is installed properly.

The doctor's office called and said to go to the hospital to be checked...dang it...I really didn't want to go through a check in at the hospital....but better safe than sorry.  We went to WNJ and I was dilated to a 2 and effaced more and a couple of hours later I was dilated a little more so they decided I was in active labor and they wouldn't give the meds to stop the labor.  Dr. Sandman came in since he was on call and let me know we would have to have a c-section.  I explained that Dr. Grafa and I had a different plan and that Baby B had finally cooperated and turned head down so Grafa was going to try a vaginal birth.  Sandman wasn't comfortable vaginally delivering twins and refused.  I asked to let me labor without pitocin since Grafa should be back by 6ish and then he would be there in plenty of time.  Sandman kept saying how dangerous it is to deliver twins vaginally....I was so upset and just couldn't believe that the 24 hours my doctor is gone is the day my babies decide to show up.  Taylor and I prayed and asked God to bring our babies into the world in His timing and His perfect delivery...and I let it go.

A few hours later, Sandman came in with an ultrasound machine and said that if Baby B was still head down, he would let me labor until Grafa got back...they were still trying to get in touch with him to find out his return time.  Baby B was still down...so labor away.

A few more hours pass and Sandman came back to let us know he had gotten in touch with Grafa and it was going to be 10 or 11 pm before he would be back...we couldn't wait that long.  We had to do a c-section....I was at peace with this....I had turned it over to God and this was His plan.  That doesn't mean I wasn't scared out of my mind.  I guess it's the unknown...I have had two vaginal births so I know I can do it...major abdominal surgery just seemed so scary.

At about 5:30 Dr. Sandman delivered two precious baby boys.  I could hear Beckem screaming like crazy....finally I heard Adler's cries....I could see the doctors and nurses working with the babies and I could tell something was going on with one of the babies....I could only see the doctor and nurses' eyes due to the masks and their eyes revealed a bit of worry and urgency.  They showed me Adler, then showed me Beckem and whisked them away.

Adler gulped some amniotic fluid during the birth and needed oxygen, Beckem's heart rate dropped to 90 right after birth.  They put both babies on oxygen, and iv fluids.  I didn't get to see them until late that night....I remember a nurse asking if I had seen them and I was crying telling her no and she wheeled my bed to the nicu to see them.  None of this was what I had planned...certainly not what I expected.  I was devastated to see my babies hooked to so many tubes and I couldn't even hold them much less nurse them as I had planned to do soon after birth.  I only got to see them a few minutes.

 I think it was day 2 that I finally got to hold them...things were a little blury...






Three days later, Dr. Rue came into my room to tell us Beckem needed to go to Dallas....she could hear a heart murmur.  I type through tears to relive this moment.  The helicopter was already on the way.  We went to the nicu as the team arrived....the flight nurses began prepping him for his trip.  One asked me if we had gotten a picture of them together yet...we hadn't....so she held Beckem over Adler's bed and let us take a picture....my heart just broke....I thought she was probably letting us do that because they didn't think Beckem would make it and she wanted me to have at least one picture of them together.

Taylor left as soon as the flight left so he would be there when Beckem arrived.  I obviously stayed behind since I wasn't discharged from the hospital yet.  Those next couple of nights were horrible...I was alone...Adler was still in the WNJ nicu, Beckem in Dallas, Taylor trying to work then be with Beckem after work.  I remember laying in my hospital bed at night and I could hear the mom in the room across the hall...actually I could hear her baby crying...and I cried...I felt completely sorry for myself and cried because I had TWO babies and not one of them were with me. 

A couple of days later, they decided Adler could leave the NICU and room with me like a normal baby...I was actually discharged but since he still needed hospital care, I was allowed to room in with him until his release....thank God!!  I was so grateful to have him with me and couldn't wait to be released so I could be with Beckem. 

Beckem saw a team of doctors...the cardiologist saw two holes in his heart...one ASD and one VSD.  Sometimes these close as the baby grows but one of his was so large they didn't expect it would close and surgery would be necessary in the future.  They also decided to do genetic/chromosome testing due to his large head, ear dips, long fingers and the VSD.  The poor little guy also had a grade 2 brain bleed. 

I finally got to Medical City so I could see Beckem.  He was so tiny, so pale, and hooked up to so many things...and the machine was beeping red and loud every time his oxygen dropped which was often.  I didn't know what to do...I tried to sing to him, but i couldn't stop crying....tried to talk to him but couldn't stop crying....the nurse that night, Mae, was so sweet...she came over and tried to comfort me.  The next several visits all I could do was hold him and cry...I would try to hold back the tears....but my dear friend Holly told me..."don't you dare hold back one tear of concern and love for that baby"...so I didn't. 

Our friends and family rallied around us with prayers, support, supplies, love, concern....We have never felt so covered in prayer by God's children.  I saw God like I have never seen Him before....he provided a place for us to stay near Beckem, the Ronald McDonald House, protected us while traveling to and from the hospital, allowed my mom to be there with us for a week to care for Adler while I was with Beckem...I could go on and on....He poured blessings upon us.  But most of all, He began healing Beckem in ways the doctors couldn't explain....He provided wonderful doctors, nurses, and therapists to work with Beckem.  Beckem's genetic testing came back completely normal...praise GOD!!!!  Finally, after 3 weeks, Beckem was going to come home!! 
We are now home adjusting to this crazy wonderful life with TWO babies!!  I truly love every single second...even at 2 am.  Beckem has lots of doctor appointments and requires some extra care at home with his feedings and meds.  He is a little weak due to his heart...he rarely cries but whimpers instead.  I feed him first to prevent him being stressed...poor Adler has to wait at times and he's very vocal about it!  Beckem can only drink a small amount due to some of the medicine he takes so his milk is fortified to have extra calories.  He never seems to mind that it's such a small amount and he eats voraciously!  Adler loves to eat too...he nurses some and sometimes it's easier to give him my milk in a bottle since I'm pumping anyway.  The only problem is that he spits up quite a bit with the bottle.

They are both growing so well and are absolutely precious.....I'm blessed beyond what I deserve...we serve a gracious God. 

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Baby boys are here

They are both in the level 2 nursery. Beckem is doing best....Adler is having respiratory issues. He may have to go to Dallas....we will know in the am. They are on Iv fluids...I will update as soon as I can.


How crazy that Beckem was the one doing the best in the beginning!  

Friday, October 19, 2012

Nursery and 35.5 week update

 
Here I am at 35 1/2 weeks

The swelling in my ankles and feet is down right ridiculous.  They return to a somewhat normal state by morning, but as soon as I get up and move around for a few minutes, they blimp back out....and it's uncomfortable!  They throb and hurt and nothing seems to bring relief.  I am only working half days this week so I come straight home and sit in the recliner.  The swelling still doesn't improve much.  

Dr. Gore update this week: Baby A weighs about 5 pounds 12 ounces and Baby B is about 6 pounds 6 ounces....and Baby B made the turn and is now head down!!!  On Monday he was still breech, on Thursday, he had turned.  Every doctor and nurse told me that there's no way this baby had room to turn this late.  I told them that I'm still having late night prayers and conversations with this baby and I'm certain God can handle turning a tiny little baby since he spoke our entire universe into existence....Glory be to God!! 

I realize there are still a zillion things that can require a c-section, but with both babies in position, I can at least try for a vaginal delivery.  I have complete faith that God knows the best way for these babies to enter the world and I have fantastic doctors who are watching everything so closely.  

How about some nursery pics??

Rocking chair from my sweet friend Tori
Crocheted quilts made by my mom--Grammy 
Crocheted blankie on chair made by my sweet former student Carly's grandmother   
Cribs from Baby Depot
Mobiles from Target
stuffed animal turtles made by Grammy
Quilts and bed skirts made by me

Shelves and letters from Hobby Lobby
Letters mod podged with scrap book paper by me
The glass turtle was a mother's day gift from Gavin when he was 4 years old
 The changing table is our wine shelf thingie...who would've thought I'd trade in my wine storage to change baby diapers! ;-)



 Close up of their quilts I made this summer

 Their pillows I made--embroidered by Carol Hosman.
 
I just realized I forgot a picture of the window and their closet....and going back up the stairs right now to take more pictures just isn't happening! 
 
Have a great weekend!!!
Angela

 



Sunday, October 14, 2012

34 weeks pregnant twin boys


34 weeks

This was last week...I'll be 35 weeks in 2 days...but who's counting?!  A week ago Baby A was weighing about 4 pounds 6 ounces and Baby B about 4 pounds 12 ounces.  

This week has been one of the most difficult weeks I have had.  We received the shocking, tragic news that our beloved principal suddenly passed away Wednesday morning.  We were told about 9 am that morning, and had to carry on as normally as possible so that the kiddos didn't know...truly one of the hardest days. The memorial service was yesterday and somehow it still doesn't feel real that she's gone.  

On Friday, I noticed severe swelling in my feet and ankles after lunch...had the school nurse check my blood pressure which was elevated so I went to check everything out....of course my doc is closed on Friday afternoons so I went to WNJ.  They hooked up the monitors....the babies looked perfect but I was contracting every 2-3 minutes.  The cervix was still closed but was soft.  My doc is out of town, so doc on call felt like I was dehydrated.  They ran 2 bags of IV fluids and the contractions slowed to 11 minutes apart.  At this point, I was released to go home but instructed to return if the contractions were 10 minutes apart or less for an hour....didn't sound like much wiggle room to me!  

My contractions continued throughout Friday night, Saturday morning I timed and they were 6-8 minutes apart.  I prayed that I could just make it to Sheryl's funeral at 2 and God allowed that to happen.  We ran one errand after the funeral then home to relax...but the contractions were constant and painful.  Finally, about 7 pm, after talking to the labor and delivery nurses, back I go to WNJ.  

They checked my urine and said I'm severely dehydrated.  I just don't understand how after receiving iv fluids the day before and drinking like crazy all day saturday.  The cervix was still closed so all the contractions weren't changing things.  The doctor on call decided I needed to stay overnight to run more iv fluids and monitor the babies.  

This morning, my urine still shows ketones, but they certainly don't feel I'm dehydrated....they don't know why I still have ketones.  They let me come home and I'll see Dr. Grafa tomorrow.  I'm so dang happy to be home...I have so much trouble getting comfortable at home....that horrible hospital bed was torture!!!  I think I slept a total of an hour last night, so I've been napping today.  So I'm home, with my little family, in my recliner, with my two boys bringing me water, snacks...anything I need.  

Taylor certainly deserves some kind of medal....he leaves for work at 6 am every morning and doesn't get home until 7 or 8 pm most nights.  He is doing laundry, making meals, cleaning, grocery shopping, yard work....and putting up with me!  I am so grateful for such a wonderful husband.  

It's hard to believe that we will be meeting these baby boys very soon!  All of your prayers and help mean so much to us....much love!!!

 
 

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

32 weeks pregnant twins


32 weeks
 I think my  belly grows by the day!  The babies are both about 4 pounds.  Baby A was 3 pounds 14 ounces and Baby B was 4 pounds 1 ounce.  Cervix is still long and closed.  I was thinking that at this point it should think about making some sort of changes!  These babies may stay in until 38 weeks, but I just don't know how I could teach that long.  I'm still teaching full time...maybe a couple more weeks and I'll start half days.  Just trying to hang on as long as I can.  I could probably get more teaching accomplished if I didn't have to make 90 bathroom trips a day...one of the things I have in common with 6 year olds is that they have tiny bladders so they go quite a bit as well!  
 
Gavin's cast definitely comes off on October 4th...Yay!!  That's my next Dr. Gore appointment as well so I'll have updated weights.  
 
I was reading something that had things you can do to prepare for an easier labor....one was to do squats...that's the funniest thing I've heard in awhile! The only squat this gal is doing anytime soon is to lower myself to the potty 90 times a day and hope and pray I have the strength to get myself back off of the potty!! 
 
Have a great rest of the week!  

Monday, September 17, 2012

30 weeks pregnant twins and Names

 
I'm actually 31 weeks but I'm always behind with my pictures.  We don't see Dr. Gore again until this Friday, so I will have updated weights then.  I am blessed to be able to still be working.  I have contractions constantly, but they aren't regular and aren't changing the cervix so they are definitely braxton hicks.  They still hurt though and it wears me out just dealing with contractions all day and night.  

I'm hardly ever hungry and it's a struggle sometimes to force myself to eat something.  We have been blessed by girls from our bible study group who are bringing food each week.  God certainly knows our needs and provides.  

I'm huge...I've gained over 50 pounds...I hurt everywhere...my back, hips, thighs, ankles, feet, joints....everywhere!!  It's very difficult to get comfortable especially at night.  

The nursery is finished (I'll post pics soon) they have some diapers, clothes, car seats and a place to sleep....We still have things to get for them but they have the essentials.  We have a registry at target and at www.myregistry.com:-)

Now for their names...

We let Gavin choose their middle names....he wanted one to be Jace which I thought was really sweet...he loves his big brother Jacek.  I suggested that if we are naming one after Jacek that we use Gavin's middle name for the other.  Gavin thought about it for a couple of days and agreed.  So we will name them:

 Beckem Jace
&
Adler Trask 

I can hardly believe we are getting so close to meeting them!  I'll update this weekend after Dr. Gore appointment.  Have a great week! 
 
 

Saturday, September 1, 2012

28 weeks pregnant with twin boys


28 weeks

I was 28 weeks last Tuesday.  The babies were weighing about 2 pounds 6 ounces and 2 pounds 4 ounces.  They are constantly on the move and it seems they are karate chopping each other most of the time.  I am officially back at work and have the sweetest group of first graders.  I'm not gonna lie....it's HARD and I am just going to take things one week at a time.  Right now I'm resting up over this holiday weekend and I'm ready for another week.  There's no way I could do it if it weren't for fantastic people I work with and Gavin is a HUGE help as well.  

Dr. Gore predicts I'll make it 38 weeks....he says everything is going so perfectly and he doesn't see any reason I won't. I sure hope so...I'm praying the babies will be born healthy and able to come home when I do.  

I still have so many contractions but nothing regular and they aren't changing the cervix so no worries.  I drink water like crazy which is supposed to help but all it seems to do is give me a permanent hangout spot in the bathroom.  

Taylor put together cribs and we got so many clothes, diapers, high chair, etc at our sweet baby shower last Saturday.  Today we went to buy car seats and a pack n play.  They have so much stuff and I can't believe there's still so much more they need!  

Hope everyone has a great Labor Day weekend....I'm planning to RELAX!

Friday, August 17, 2012

26 weeks 3 days and thoughts on Whooping Cough

26 weeks 3 days pregnant twin boys


I know....I look like I'm due any day...but I have hopefully at least 10 more weeks to go.  Things are getting very difficult physically...I officially start back to work next week.  I've been going to school a few hours a day to get my classroom together.  Next week is inservice but we will see how I do working a full 8 hours.  Being pregnant with twins has been so much different for me than being pregnant with one and it has been SO much more difficult.  It drives me batty not being able to physically do things I want to do...but this is temporary and God gives me the strength to make it through another day.  It won't be long and I'll have TWO precious baby boys! 

Whooping cough.

http://vitals.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/07/19/12835335-cdc-whooping-cough-epidemic-worst-in-50-years



Taylor and I are asking that anyone who plans to be close to the twins in the first 8 weeks to go and get their Tdap vaccination.  I will do whatever I have to do to protect these babies from going through what their brother endured. 


As most people know, Gavin was diagnosed with whooping cough one day before his 8 week immunization appointment.  The weekend before his appointment, he began having a little bit of a cough...no fever or any other symptoms...just a cough.  I thought it was a bit strange and thought we could ask about it at our Tuesday appointment.  Within 24 hours...Sunday night the cough was much worse so I took him to Dr. Coble 1st thing Monday.  He did all the regular exam stuff and when he heard Gavin cough he said he was going to check him for whooping cough.  I was surprised...didn't really know much about it and asked him "isn't that an eradicated disease?"  He said it was for quite some time and that he has only treated 2 or 3 cases  (I can't remember exactly) in his career (which was well over 30 years) but those 2 cases had been within the last couple of months.  He said it probably wasn't whooping cough, but since he had seen recent cases, he wanted to be on the safe side. 

We went home with our tiny 8 week old baby to wait for the results that we would get the next day.

Throughout the night, the coughing got worse and he was coughing up phlegm which I would have to suction out quickly due to the big inhale he would have at the end of the coughing spell.  He would literally cough until he was out of breath...it sounded terrible. 

We went back to Dr. Coble the next day for test results.  I'm still thinking there is no way it's whooping cough...9 years ago it wasn't even heard of.  Not to mention, after miscarriages, IVF....there's no way my miracle baby would get something that is basically eradicated!  I was still breastfeeding which strengthens immunity, not one person touched him without washing their hands...we hadn't gotten out much just to church where he sat with us and one sams trip where I kept him covered.  I was certain there was some simple explanation.

We arrived at the office and they didn't even let us sign in....they took us straight into a room...I'm still oblivious...I'm thinking they are hurrying to get home because we were one of the last appointments.  Dr. Coble came into the room and wasted no time to tell us that our baby did indeed test positive for pertussis (whooping cough).  We would be leaving through the back door and driving straight to the hospital where he would be admitted. 

I remember falling into the chair in complete shock barely hearing the conversation that followed.....Greg asked what they were going to do...Dr. Coble said he honestly didn't know what to do with a baby so young...there's no cure but he was talking to doctors from Dallas about what could be done.   Greg asked what Gavin's chances were and Dr. Coble told him he had a 50/50 chance of survival.  I lost it.  Completely lost it. But, God gave me the strength to get the baby to the hospital. 

We were admitted and quarantined.  Whooping cough is so very contagious....can be spread through the air.  Medical personnel  entered the room completely covered....even goggles!!  It felt like that scene in ET where they come in for the alien.  The only people allowed in the room other than medical personnel were me, Greg, Jacek, and our pastor. 

After talking to doctors in Dallas, Dr. Coble started Gavin on some antibiotic ( I can't remember what it was).  They had to get it from Dallas because it wasn't even available here.  It isn't a cure, but doctors had some success with shortening the intensity of the disease when given this antibiotic early.  They started Gavin on the antibiotic and also me, Greg and Jacek had to take it as well.  Gavin's coughing spells were getting more severe and he had to be suctioned quickly....there was no way to get a nurse in time to suction so I took care of him round the clock.  The antibiotic quickly made me EXTREMELY ill...so in between me throwing up I was suctioning Gavin.  Greg and I weren't allowed to leave the room...no in and out so I didn't even have a shower for days.  One sweet nurse finally told me they had a shower on that floor I could use If I wanted...YES please! 

After continuous prayer, Gavin beat the odds....he began to improve...had none of the complications they were anticipating...the day came when we got to take him home.  Someone came and taught us baby cpr, they gave us a heart monitor and oxygen and a nurse came to our house everyday....but we were home!!! 

This was a nightmare to say the least.  Since then, there have been so many more cases of pertussis...some states have it at epidemic levels.  So many babies have died. Babies are the most vulnerable to this disease. Although most of us have been vaccinated when we were young, we need the booster shot. 

"Whooping cough is causing the worst epidemic seen in the United States in more than 50 years, health officials said Thursday, and they’re calling for mass vaccination of adults."

I got my shot a few weeks ago, Taylor got his, Gavin doesn't need one until he's 11 and my mom got hers today.  The Sherman Health Department gives the shot...it's called Tdap...on Wednesdays and Thursdays from 1:00-5:30.  It's $25. 




Saturday, August 4, 2012

24 weeks 4 days pregnant with twin boys

Gavin is such a good photographer! Appointment with Dr. Gore in Plano on Tuesday...both babies looked great...A weighs about 1 pound 4 ounces and B weighs 1 pound 8 ounces...it's ideal if they stay within ounces of each other...don't want one being a little piggy!

Gavin likes to talk to them and try to wake them up...he thinks it's funny to say "kick once if you like me" and then he waits for a kick! They are extremely active...they are each about 12 inches long from head to toe and getting stronger everyday. I'm already so uncomfortable it's hard to imagine how miserable I will be in 10 more weeks! I just take it a day at a time and remember how very blessed we are.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

23 weeks pregnant with twin boys

These are actually from last week at 22 weeks pregnant.
Cute outfits from Taylor's sister. 

Today's doctor visit went well.  It's crazy to see how much the boys have grown in 3 weeks!  Both heartbeats were great...they were moving all around.  Baby A is head down and baby B is head up with his head pressing against my bladder.  Dr. G doesn't do many other measurements since Dr. Gore in Plano does the more detailed sonos....I see him again next week.   Now I will see Dr. G every 2 weeks.  He said today to take my activity level down.  I notice that if I overdo it I have lots of contractions.  A couple of weeks ago this happened and it took me two days of rest and tons of water to get them to stop.  Afterward, my tummy felt like I had done about 2000 crunches....it was so sore!  It's just difficult to stay hydrated in this Texas heat.  

I still sleep like crap most nights...as soon as I try to lay on my side, the pain in the gallbladder area is excruciating.  I sit propped with about 8 pillows and a pillow on each side of me to sleep.  I'm truly not complaining even though it may sound like it....I'm so grateful for each day these boys are growing and healthy.  I want to document each stage of this pregnancy and that means including the uncomfortable truths!!  

I also received my pertussis booster today...Gavin was diagnosed with pertussis at 8 weeks and was given a 50% chance of survival...I'll write about this soon.  

I'll update after Dr. Gore's appointment next week!  Have a great week! 

Angela 

 

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

20 weeks pregnant with twin boys


20 weeks

Today is 20 weeks which means we are a little over halfway there!  We had our appointment with OB last week and the perinatologist today.  The peri and Gavin get to talking about sound waves, x-rays, etc and he forgets to take pictures!  He gives us a video though and I love that he and Gavin have so much to talk about!  Today Baby A weighs about 15 ounces and is measuring 5 days ahead, Baby B weighs 13 ounces and measures 3 days ahead.  He said they are most definitely still boys and everything looks perfectly healthy.  

Dr. G got a cute picture of one of a foot last week....
The babies are super active....especially at night which is fine because I barely get any sleep anyway!  I'm still sleeping sitting up due to the pain where my gallbladder used to be that seems to be from scar tissue that is stretching.  It's quite miserable but I'm so grateful for everyday that these babies are growing.  We are over halfway there! 

 

 I just realized we are halfway there for paying for these little punkins as well!  Just made our 6th payment of $1100 and 6 more to go...of course that's just for the IVF...not for the OB, peri, hospital, etc.  I saw the bill to insurance for the peri today and truly almost signed up to go back to school!  The charge for our 1st appointment with him which lasted maybe 20 minutes total was $1,300.00!!!!  Incredibly grateful we got a BOGO!! 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

18 weeks pregnant twins


18 weeks

 Grammy came this week and got the babies their bouncy seats!  We had so much fun picking out stuff and then went to Joann's for stuff to make some adorable baby blankets.  My mom is so talented and used to make all kinds of stuff for me and my sister...clothes, dolls, hair thingies...can't wait to see the baby blankets!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

17 weeks pregnant with twin boys

As most know, we are having twin boys!  We are seeing a high risk OB in Plano in addition to our regular OB, Dr. G.  "Dr. Plano" knew they were boys within seconds of putting the probe on my belly!  Gavin was with us and was amazed to see the babies on the ultrasound.  He's a bit bummed because he really wanted girls...when I asked him why later, he said it's because his big brother has been so rotten to him the last few years....that broke my heart. 

When Dr. Plano asked at the end if we had any questions, Gavin said "Yes, are you 100% sure they are both boys?" Doc just laughed and said, "Well I'm 99.9% sure." Gavin replied very matter of factly, "Okay, so there's a chance."  I just love that kid.  It's now starting to soak in and he seems more pleased at the idea of brothers instead of sisters...."as long as they don't mess with my stuff."

This pregnancy has already been difficult...I taught first graders until my lunch break while I was in labor with Gavin!  I never stopped and just expected this would be the same.  I had the burst of second trimester energy with Gavin, walked everyday until term....except for lots of heartburn I don't remember that much discomfort...of course it's amazing what we forget when we hold those sweet babies in our arms! 

So far I have had LOTS of round ligament pain that at times makes walking very difficult, sciatic nerve pain that shoots down through my butt mid-step and I almost fall!  It's ridiculous.  And the newest ailment, for almost two weeks now I have intense pain where my gallbladder used to be (had it removed after Gavin).  The weird thing is that the pain only occurs when I lie down...doesn't matter which side I lay on it HURTS...but if I sit up, it stops.  So, I have been sleeping SITTING UP for almost 2 weeks now.  It's so miserable because I just want to lay down...even with 4 pillows propped up underneath me it hurts.  I'm having to sleep on the couch so I can prop my pillows on the arm of the sofa to sit up.  Taylor ordered a recliner a couple of days ago so I'm hoping that will provide some kind of sleeping comfort. 

I also have ZERO energy...I think a lot of it is due to being so inactive...It's too painful to go for a walk.  I have already finished three books since school let out. 

Aside from all of the aches and pains, I'm so grateful the all day sickness is gone and even more grateful for two healthy babies.  I can already feel them moving and cant' wait to see how they've grown at our next appointment in a couple of weeks. 


It's been awhile...



12 weeks

14 weeks








Monday, April 2, 2012

please pray for our ultrasound tomorrow~

Please pray for our ultrasound tomorrow!  Pray for at least one healthy heartbeat....and second is a bonus blessing!  I truly believe that God won't give us any more than we can handle with His help.  

I have been unbelievably ill.  This weekend I couldn't keep much of anything in....even a sip of water made me sick.  I broke down today and called Dr. D for a prescription....however, he wanted me to call Dr. Grafa to check for dehydration.  He felt I may need IV fluids.  

After talking for a bit, he said if I could get 32 ounces to stay in that he would check my levels in the morning at the ultrasound appointment, but if I couldn't I have to go to Grafa today.  As of right now, i've consumed about 40 ounces and only 1 episode where it came back out....so I'm thinking probably 10 ounces came out...puts us right at 30 and the day isn't over.  Picked up my prescription...Zofran....but only took half....I am just such a nervous wreck about taking anything. We shall see if it helps me get more to stay in but I anticipate an iv in near future.  

So everyone say a little prayer for the health of our embryos.  I'll post just as soon as we know. 

xoxo,
angela

 

Thursday, March 15, 2012

BETA #2

Today they wanted the 296 to at least double and it's 818!!  YAY!!!!  They scheduled our first ultrasound for April 3rd and said we should be able to see heartbeat and how many babies.  

Incredibly grateful.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

prize heifer












 
 
From the book "A Few Good Eggs":
 
If a farmer has a prize heifer and that cow gets pregnant, you don't let that animal run in the pasture with the other cows.  You treat that cow special.  You put that cow up in the stall with good food, good straw.  You make that cow rest.  You take extra good care of that cow. 

I love it!!  However, I've never been very good at taking extra good care of myself.  I have always felt guilt for having a lazy Saturday, much less an entire weekend.  
 
Maybe it stems from watching my mama work her fingers to the bone...a lazy weekend wasn't even an option for her since she would have to load the laundry from the entire week into laundry baskets....trash bags if we ran out of room.  Her entire Saturday was spent at the laundry mat in town.  I know it took 3 or 4 hours to wash, dry, hang up and fold a week's worth of clothes for a family of 4.  
 
Then, we would carefully load everything back into the car for the drive home and put everything away.  There was no way a Saturday could be missed because two weeks worth of clothes would probably mean an overnight stay at the laundry mat!  Washing on a weekday wasn't a possibility since my mom would leave for work well before the sun had risen and usually back home just after jeopardy and as Dan Rather began his newscast. 

The extent of pampering ever extended to my mom was when my sister and I took turns rubbing her exhausted aching feet.  My father couldn't even get a nice word out of his mouth much less actually help to lighten her work load.  When I look back now, I wonder how in the world she kept up and did so with grace.  

I really knew nothing other than this mentality until just the last few years...and I still unknowingly revert back from time to time.  I thought moms were supposed to do it all and then some and not even have the luxury of a washing machine in your own home!!  All the while, putting up with a selfish jackass of a man constantly reminding you that nothing is good enough....especially you.  

I still pinch myself sometimes that I finally have a husband who is the total opposite of my father.  As much as I said out loud that I would NEVER be with someone like my dad, I always ended up choosing people with abusive behaviors so eerily close to his his. I still feel like I don't deserve Taylor.  He has the kindest most sensitive heart.  He has treated me like a "prize heifer" since the day we met....I think it's  time I treat myself with the same regard.